Part of my distraction is the final releasing of property that I inherited when my husband died. It was a U.S. Post Office After a five year process of trying to sell it, it finally closed and the burden of maintenance, worry, and dealing with the interesting drama about it is over. The story behind all of that is a book by itself--which I really want to forget. The characters involved in it, the drama behind it, the loss of dignity when trying to explain my actions, are now over. But I can finally say, it's done.
Spawned by over 55 years of "I must do this" to the asserted practice of "I must be quiet", all habits that most of us have a problem breaking. Ah, habits...good ones, bad ones. Setting my intentions to deliberately be quiet and intentional is the best place of for me.
How we define our purpose in life has a lot do with our environment. I have been blessed. I am so grateful for the things in my life. It seems that all those years of marriage to a wonderful man just whizzed by. If I could do it all over again, I would be hugging and kissing him more and saying those words "I love you" a hundred times more. That is the thought of regret. There's always the "I wisha, I coulda, and I shoulda" statements dwelling in your mind with regret.
I now feel a sense of great relief with that release. A beautiful quote from Goldie Hawn is required here: "If we can just let go and trust that things will work out they way they're supposed to, without trying to control the outcome, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.”
So, my intention today is to make sure that I enjoy this day, keep finding time to be quiet and contemplate, love myself more with the full acknowledgement that it will reflect to others.
I promise more writing in the future...but I'll just let this writing simmer a little for all of my readers.